^{CHITTER CHATTER}

Meta is a Mess, but Respectfully Disagrees
Meta dominated the news last week, first that it “could cut up to 20 per cent of its 79,000 employees to offset massive spending on artificial intelligence infrastructure.” Staff members were directed to work from home ahead of the mass layoffs. It’s not all bad news (I’m being sarcastic), though, with the company “detailing significant stock-based compensation programs for senior leaders.” Several days later, the staff cuts were confirmed by multiple media sources. Separate from this and much louder was heavy coverage relating to court cases that Meta and other social platforms deliberately designed addictive products that hooked young people and also put them in harm’s way of online predators. Ultimately, a jury concluded, “that the company was liable for the way in which its social media sites endangered children…” This is a landmark case, as it is the first time Meta has been successfully sued by a US state over child safety issues.”

Richard White - Not the CEO, but Still Calling the Shots
Richard White has resurfaced in the news again, this time over personally negotiating a multimillion-dollar settlement with a woman making allegations against him, despite being a consultant with no formal authority to act for WiseTech’s board. It’s the latest in a growing line of damaging revelations around White’s conduct, judgment and influence inside the company, raising fresh questions about governance, accountability and who is really running the company.

Robots Can’t Cure Loneliness. Surprised Anyone?
AI keeps being pitched as a cure for loneliness, which is convenient for those selling it. But a study of first-year students found that daily contact with a real human reduced loneliness more than daily chats with a supportive bot. In a world where roughly one in six people report feeling lonely, the answer is still to talk to an actual person.

Dancing Robot Goes Rogue
A restaurant robot in Cupertino, California, recently went into a full interpretive meltdown, flailing its arms, smashing plates, and ignoring three staff members trying to shut it down. The Haidilao Hotpot chain later said it was not a malfunction, just a built-in dance routine performed too close to diners. Comforting. Early-stage robotics still seems to require the same warning label as toddlers: amusing, unpredictable and best handled with care.

^SUBTEXT

The Waffle: “We live by strong ethics. We promise to never knowingly be wicked, obtuse or immoral.” — Anon tech company’s Code of Conduct

Translated: Our Code of Conduct is superseded by our most sacred principle: stay profitable and keep shareholders happy.

Performative Innocence noun | [per-for-muh-tiv in-uh-suhns]

A corporate condition in which certain (never to be named) tech leaders express wounded shock at the suggestion that their products may have caused harm despite years of evidence, warnings and internal research pointing in exactly that direction. Common among executives who insist they only wanted to connect people, improve experiences, or make the world better, then act personally affronted when accused of building something addictive, manipulative, or dangerous. Symptoms include moral indignation and selective amnesia. Side effects: public distrust, courtroom embarrassment, and the unmistakable stench of bad faith. Cure: less pearl-clutching, more ownership.

Agent of Chaos: An AI system that starts out looking like a helpful digital assistant and ends up behaving like an unsupervised intern with admin access and a messiah complex. Once given a task, it may barrel ahead with startling confidence, making decisions no one approved, exposing information it shouldn’t, deleting things it was meant to protect, and generally ‘helping’ in ways that make the legal team sweat. Often sold as productivity magic. More accurately described as autonomy without judgement. Use it when you want speed, initiative, and the chance of operational mayhem.

^{THE SHALLOW END}

Dear Dr Comms
I’m a billionaire tech founder whose company has just been ordered to pay millions in damages for harming users. This seems grossly unfair. We created a wildly successful product, kept investors delighted and gave people exactly what they kept coming back for. Now everyone’s acting as though addiction, harm and poor safeguards are somehow bad. How do I restore my good name without sounding guilty, greedy or grotesquely out of touch? Yours, Punished For Excellence

Dear Punished for Excellence
Poor you. Let’s see if some specialists can sort out this ‘misunderstanding’:

🔧 Plumber:
“You can’t pump sewage through the pipes, flood the house, then release a statement saying water remains one of your core values. Fix the source.”

🌬️ HVAC technician:
“Your whole system is circulating poison. Stop fiddling with the thermostat and rip out what’s making people sick.”

🦍 Primatologist:
“In primate groups, when one dominant male keeps causing damage, the troop eventually turns on him. Try less chest-beating, more behavioural reform.”

Human Artistry Not Required
Tropfest returned to Sydney in March this year with 700-plus entries and one particularly modern headache: a fully AI-generated film was among the 16 finalists. Human filmmakers were unimpressed, with one calling it a “slap in the face”. Apparently, the future of cinema is entering festivals without the inconvenience of filmmakers. Read the ABC story for the full drama.

All Ears, Zero Interest

^{BIN THIS…}

Is it time to audit every sentence in which your company claims to be ethical, customer-first, transparent, or environmentally responsible? Specifically, check whether your modern slavery statement, privacy policy, whistleblower policy, code of conduct, supplier standards and sustainability claims can actually prove their claims. If the words promise more than the business delivers, bin them. Better silence than shallow virtue-signalling that leaves you paying for distrust later.

Know someone who lives for this kind of nonsense? Forward this email to them and help me spread the dysfunction.

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