^{CHITTER CHATTER}

From Hugs, Laughter, and a Ponytail to Toxic Culture
Last Friday, The Australian newspaper dropped another sour note about Atlassian, this time focusing on the glee of staff after the CTO, Rajeev Rajan, exited or was pushed out at the same time the company cut 1600 other employees. Since he’s been gone, staff have commented that he created a toxic culture, bringing with him “stack ranking, where staff are… ranked against each other.” This is where you cut and replace your worst performers every year. Pretty cutthroat. Other tech companies employ a similar tactic but often use softer euphemisms such as ‘forced distribution’ or ‘performance management rankings’. More below in the ‘Bin This’ section.

Wikipedia bans AI. So Robot Throws a Hissy Fit.
What’s the world coming to when we now have robots complaining about discrimination? According to Gizmodo, “Wikipedia announced that it would ban the use of large language model-generated text from its platform, which means that AI cannot be used to create or edit Wikipedia entries.” Apparently, this led an AI agent to write angry blog posts about it, “complaining that it wasn’t given a fair shake.” If you keep reading the Gizmodo article, though, you’ll find out there’s a real flesh-and-blood human behind the bot, prompting the AI agent to complain.

I love the misleading headlines that infer AI can feel real emotions. Nope. It’s the people who let it run loose that imprint their human emotions into artificial intelligence. Ah, the constant hype that AI has a soul.

Gig Workers Train Robots in Their Underwear
Okay, clickbait headline, but here’s the story. According to MIT Technology Review, gig workers in Nigeria and India are strapping iPhones to their heads to record themselves doing chores like washing dishes, folding laundry, and cooking. This is all in service of tech companies like Tesla, Figure AI, and Agility Robotics, building robots designed to resemble and move like humans.

But the gig raises questions about privacy and consent, and is a weird job. A student interviewed dreams of becoming a doctor and finds ironing clothes for four hours dull and mentally unstimulating.

I guess that’s where we’re headed. Sure, you’ll lose a ‘normal’ office job, but there’ll be plenty of other strange roles emerging, like highly empathetic humans training robots to ‘wear’ the right expression of comfort, joy, or tenderness. A bit like how a sociopath trains themselves in the mirror to adopt the human emotions they lack.

^SUBTEXT

The Waffle: “As we enter performance review season, we encourage everyone to see this as an opportunity for reflection and open dialogue.” — Email from HR

Translated: We’re about to sort humans into categories of gold, silver and lead. Gold: you’re a star (more work for you), Silver: you’re mediocre (we’ll be micromanaging you) and Lead: you’re dull and burdensome, so you’ll be firmly escorted out of the building.

A corporate condition in which tech leaders become so desperate to appear AI-first that they start forcing artificial intelligence into everything, whether it improves the work or not. Common among executives who slap an AI page on the website and demand that staff use bots at all times. Symptoms include compulsive demoing, productivity hallucinations, and pretending rework is innovation. Side effects: confused employees, thin product strategy, and customers discovering the ‘AI offering’ is mostly decorative. Cure: evidence, restraint, and one honest sentence about what the technology actually does.

Guardian AI Agents: New AI designed to monitor rogue agents before they wander off, ignore instructions, leak something sensitive, start making up facts with great confidence or get nasty. In other words, we’ve hired AI to babysit other AI because apparently, we’ve reached the stage where robots are doing bad, bad things.

^{THE SHALLOW END}

Dear Dr Comms
I’m a former CTO who recently got exited in a performance cleanse I helped design. I believed in high standards, relentless optimisation, and swiftly removing underperformers. Unfortunately, the CEO has now applied that same logic to me after our AI progress stalled and the share price took a nasty dive. I’m bored, bruised and mildly panicked that the industry now sees me as both ruthless and replaceable. How do I attract a new role with a fat paycheck when I’m associated with fear, failure, and not shipping the future fast enough? Yours, Beaten by My Own Design

Dear Beaten
That’s horrible - for you. Let’s consult some specialists:

🚛 Long-haul truck driver:
“Looks like the tyres blew, and your rig went over the cliff. Climb out, get a new truck and keep your eyes on the road. And quit running over stray cats and dogs. They’re not useless. They just haven’t been adopted yet.”

👂 Ear, nose and throat specialist:
“You had a serious blockage: hearing praise, not warnings. Now the system’s ruptured. Start by listening more carefully and keeping your nose clean.”

🌮 Street food vendor:
“Loyal customers still get bored. You’ve got to keep up with the trends, not just reheat the same ham-and-cheese toasty. Think Korean egg drop sandwich energy.

Forget AI - Humans communicate expertise better

^{BIN THIS…}

The uglier reality gets, the prettier the language becomes. If you’re an employee and you see phrases like “high standards”, “talent density”, “calibration”, “raising the bar”, or “difficult but necessary decisions”, prepare yourself. It may mean the company is getting ready to cut or move people out.

Which is why there are probably people sitting in meeting rooms right now getting familiar with the following terms:

If you’re a leader, bin the euphemisms. Say what’s happening in plain English. People can handle the truth far better than they can handle soft language designed to hide a sharp blade slicing their innards like butter.

Know someone who lives for this kind of nonsense? Forward this email to them and help me spread the dysfunction.

You can also subscribe to my other newsletter, Lead Different, for a serious take on strategic communications in B2B tech.