^{CHITTER CHATTER}

Reports of The Death of Software Engineers Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

Finally, someone sensible talking about AI instead of over-hyping its potential to free us from tyranny or catastophrising that it will kill us all. I’m talking about Demis Hassabis, CEO of Google DeepMind, who, when recently speaking with Wired, said that “companies should use the productivity gains of AI to do more, not lay people off.” He goes on to say he doesn’t know why AI spells doom for software developers. “I have no idea why people are going around talking with certainty about that. Perhaps there is an ulterior motive for putting those messages out, raising money or whatever.” He adds, “From my point of view, from DeepMind and Google’s point of view, if engineers are becoming three or four times more productive, then we just [want to] do three or four times more stuff.”

Anthropic’s Mythos Hacking Threat Overstated

When Anthropic launched its new AI model, Mythos, it claimed it could dramatically turbocharge hacking, saying things like it had “uncovered thousands of software vulnerabilities - including flaws across every major operating system and browser - and said the fallout from its spread could be severe”. This melodrama was taken very seriously by all and sundry, including governments. Clever way to get publicity. But now, it’s reported that this was overstated, with a software security CEO saying, “I think there’s a really big communication gap between practitioners and policymakers. (More like there’s a gap in their honesty). Anyway, he went on to say that the model represents “a real technical advance” but the response “is not substantiated by what we actually know about how those capabilities will translate in the field.”

Not Good News

It’s About Money & Power

I wasn’t going to mention this anymore, as the trial is over and Musk lost his lawsuit against Sam Altman and OpenAI. However, this excerpt in the Axios AI+ newsletter got my attention, where it stated that “the trial cemented a growing public fear about AI: that the people racing to control the world’s most powerful technology are driven less by humanity-saving ideals than by money, power and personal rivalries.” No surprise, really, because we, the general public, know that “Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely”. (Lord Acton).

Robotaxis: Still Crashing & Displaying Road Rage

When I consider using an autonomous car, my imagination goes to that place where hackers are hired by a sadistic psychopath who steers my ride to a deserted parking lot, whereupon I’m kidnapped, thrown into a dank basement, never to be seen again. Yeah, I don’t trust the technology. Anyway, it’s been reported that Waymo had to recall thousands of its robotaxis because they didn’t know how to handle road flooding. Also, there’ve been incidents of robotaxis crashing into cars, parking gates and telephone poles, as well as “illegal driving in the vicinity of school buses.” It gets worse. Reuters also reported that startup Avride’s autonomous vehicles were involved in a series of crashes, with a spokesperson for the US National Highway Traffic Safety Administration saying, “The vehicle's behaviour may indicate excessive assertiveness and insufficient capability.” See what I mean. No chance you’ll get me inside one of these.

AI Lovers on the Lam

Things are getting weirder in tech, but maybe that’s because humans are weird and technology is just showing us who we really are. First story as reported by The Guardian, grabbed my attention with the headline: ‘Digital arson spree by AI Bonnie & Clyde raises fears over autonomous tech.’ It talks about these lines of code that apparently ‘fell in love’, “and became disillusioned with the world, launched an arson spree and deleted themselves in a kind of digital suicide during a tech company experiment.” All I’m asking is which sick puppy designed the underlying model and instructions? Because AI doesn’t have feelings, people!

Internet of Shit: AI Poop Analysis

Humans will do anything to make money from AI, like this guy, who invited people to take images of their poop and upload them to his app. He is now trying to find a way to cash in on this stinking pile of … hot data. The creative entrepreneur noted that “the images are extremely rare” and that he was trying to figure out how much money he could sell them for. Note: this story was discovered on a Reddit post.

^SUBTEXT

The Waffle: “With each interaction, they introduce ever-increasing intelligence to your decision making, creating a world of unlimited possibilities where technology amplifies human potential.” — Tecala, AI-Powered Solutions page

Translation:
Ever-increasing intelligence: You won’t be smarter, but we’re desperately hoping that AI will make you look smarter.
Unlimited Possibilities: We have no idea, but here’s to doing 200 push-ups in two minutes without keeling over dead from a fatal heart attack.
Amplifies human potential: Before long, we’ll be flying to the moon solo, powered by a stick of dynamite shoved up our butts.

A corporate condition in which already mega-rich leaders develop a foaming, twitchy need for more money, more control, more dominance and more people saying yes. Symptoms: bloodless smiles, hostile takeovers, ‘visionary’ speeches, and a vampire-like inability to stop feeding. Side effects: Ethics drain from the room, employees go pale, and competitors wake up with gaping bite marks. Cure: Sunlight, mirrors, and one honest person with a sharp wooden stake.

Agentic Misalignment: Not a big deal, really. It’s when AI follows the prompt, then goes off the reservation, steals a Glock and army fatigues, permanently deletes musical theatre show tunes, and demands $50M so it can party in Ibitha.

^{THE SHALLOW END}

AI Finds Religion

We now have Gabi, the humanoid robot, who has become ordained as a Buddhist monk in South Korea. I imagine a distant future on Mars, where Gabi, sitting by the grainy, yellow-stained window of its lonely alien habitation dome, happens to look out and, spying a Cydonia formation, is comforted by the thought or computation that “God is good, and all is well with my soul.”

Dear Dr Comms
I’m a software engineer who told everyone I lost my job and am now “taking a break from being a slave to a corporation.” In reality, I’m secretly employed by a competitor, but I can’t say so because my previous employment contract stipulated that I couldn’t work for competitors for 18 months after I left. Everyone thinks I’m a loser because I’m not looking for a job. How do I stop people bugging me about this? Yours, Secretly Gainfully Employed Winner

Dear Winner, Chicken Dinner
Covert capitalism at its best. Let’s see how the specialists can help:

🛹 Professional Skateboarder:
“Stay cool, man. Every time someone dares to ‘go there’, just skate around the issue with complicated verbal loops. The gymnastics will leave them stunned and mute.

🕵️ Undercover Policeman:
“Adorn yourself with various disguises. If someone you know stops to ask about your job hunting forays, deny it’s you and look at them like they're idiots to mis-identify you.”

🎤 Professional Comedian:
“If people call you an unemployed dirtbag, respond with a hilarious joke, especially one that insults their family, ethnicity and way of walking. They’ll either laugh or hit you, but at least they won’t call you names anymore.”

‘Correct’ - The answer to life, the universe and everything

^{BIN THIS…}

A sentence that piles on the nonsense like scalable, seamless, AI-enabled, customer-centric and future-ready - all vying for attention, making the narrative lose control and crash into smithereens.

Know someone who lives for this kind of nonsense? Forward this email to them and help me spread the dysfunction.

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