THE STATIC - Issue 22

Hey You, Welcome! Here’s your weekly dose roasting tech spin, bluster and puffery. Laugh at the cringe, unjam your message.

THE STATIC is evolving… Say goodbye (for now) to Pop Culture Cringe and Dear Dr Comms and hello to Corporate Contagions and Not Good News.

This week in:

• Tech Waffle Torture - Re-imagining how to flog more AI nonsense

• Shallow Values - Purpose: To serve clients in word, not action

• Savage Takedowns - Tech founder: from humiliation to murder

• Corporate Contagions - Coping with a ‘change resistance’ body rash

• LinkedIn Templates - Failed in your last role? Reinvent the new you

• Not Good News - Microsoft in trouble over pricing, WiseTech raided and Neo the human robot can’t work the dishwasher

• WTF explains the body language of ‘pretending to enjoy a Zoom call’

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Tech Waffle Torture Explained - We tell you what corporate speak really means. You’re welcome.

Original: “Reimagining tomorrow by automating today’s disruption.”

Translation: We’ll AI everything that moves, invoice you for reverse transformation, and measure unsuccess by how loudly we congratulate ourselves for making you believe our AI slogans.

Meaningfully Shallow Values – You get them as short and sweet ugly truths

  Purpose

🙌 Our Purpose Is Our North Star
“Mostly used for navigation when we’ve completely lost direction.”

🙌 Living Our Purpose
“Through carefully worded emails and inspirational posters near the elevators.”

🙌 Purpose in Action
“Plastering our purpose: “Empowering Tomorrow, Today’” everywhere from our website to sales decks and brochureware – while ensuring nothing changes internally.”

Savage Takedowns – Spectator sport or heed the lesson

From Humiliation to Murder: A Lesson in Toxic Leadership
The saga of Tushar Atre, a tech-CEO turned cannabis entrepreneur, reads like a horror show in slow motion. Witnesses say Atre forced employees to do hundreds of push-ups before issuing pay cheques; humiliated them in front of their peers, then watched his posture of power collapse when the crew he’d abused turned on him. Some defendants have already been convicted and handed life terms; other trials are ongoing, which keeps the story looping through headlines and feeds – the kind of grim spectacle we can’t resist.

Heed The Lesson
First, workplace abuse does not excuse violence. Ever. Murder is a crime, not a consequence. However, what is worth considering is how toxic leadership corrodes loyalty and escalates grievances in ways that can spin out of control. The takeaway?

• Humiliation compounds risk: degrading employees is not leadership, it’s a recipe for disaster

• Power without oversight becomes a time bomb: founder-led with no reigns just breeds chaos

• Culture is risk management: pay on time, respect the team; don’t let petty cruelties go unresolved.

Corporate Contagions – A field guide to the behaviourial disorders infecting the tech industry

A new outbreak is spreading across transformation programs everywhere…

Change Resistance Rash

Symptoms: Skin irritation triggered by phrases like ‘digital transmogrification’ or “transformational Quest.”

Causes: Prolonged exposure to consultants suffering from their own delusions of agility. Often transmitted through PowerPoint decks titled ‘The Next Horizon.’

Treatment: Quarantine from buzzwords. Administer a truth serum and one plain-English conversation per week. Full recovery unlikely in organisations still using the phrase ‘change journey.’

LinkedIn Popularity Templates – Syrupy, self-congratulatory. Surprisingly effective.

Template 22: The ‘New Role Reinvention’ Post

Thrilled to share I’ve started a new chapter: a fabulous new role that actually recognises my genius. 🧠

A role that perfectly aligns with my values, purpose, and need to appear thriving online. 🌱

The team is brilliant, the boss is inspiring, and the product is something I’ll understand later.

It’s amazing what a few months off, a new title, and selective memory can do for personal growth.

Here’s to reinvention – and to pretending my last performance review wasn’t titled ‘Areas for Drastic Improvement.’ 🥂

If you, too, believe resilience is just reputation with better branding, hit ❤️ and comment “ELEVATED.”

#CareerGlowUp #AuthenticallyReinvented #LinkedInComeback

Got some naval gazing or philosophical musing you’d like to turn into a syrupy LinkedIn post? Reply to this email with your request and I’ll do my best.

Not Good News – Tech’s weekly highlight reel of hubris, hypocrisy and cringe

Copilot, Copay More: When Innovation Costs Extra
Australia’s competition watchdog is suing Microsoft for allegedly misleading 2.7 million customers into paying up to 45 per cent more for Copilot-integrated 365 plans – without disclosing a cheaper ‘Classic' option.
My Take
Words matter. If you get them wrong, you get sued. Words aren’t just text; they’re tactics. Misused, they mislead. Especially when you’re hiking prices. Be straightforward, clear, and offer customers a genuine choice.

WiseTech’s Raid: When Governance Goes Dark
Australia’s corporate watchdog ASIC and the Australian Federal Police raided WiseTech’s Sydney office as part of an investigation into alleged share trading by founder Richard White and senior staff. The raid followed a mass board exodus over governance concerns and allegations of personal misconduct.
My Take
When personal impropriety surfaces, corporate impropriety often isn’t far behind. A lack of integrity rarely stays compartmentalised, it seeps into culture and business decisions. Spot the smoke early before the “governance bonfire” spreads like wildfire.

The $20K Butler Bot That Needs a Human Babysitter
The 1X Technologies NEO humanoid robot is now available for preorder at US $20,000 (or US $499/month). But it still relies on remote human operators, comes with privacy risks, and lacks promised autonomy.
My Take
Yes, we all want a helpful robot at home, folding, cleaning, fetching. But this launch doesn’t make me feel safe. The bot is awkward, ugly, and the idea it could drop something heavy on me gives me nightmares. It’s a fail, not a win, though early adopters might enjoy the thrill of being part of its evolution.

What The Fluff (WTF)?! – Decoding tech, something that linguists, philosophers, and your boss refuse to do

Layer 8 Insights – Regular deep dives that explore the human error in tech.